Archive for October, 2006

The Domestic Violence Act of India – The death blow to harmonious marriages

October 30, 2006

Nowadays, marriages are tough. It takes a lot of love, understanding and patience to make a marriage work. Marriages are based on trust. Once the trust is broken, it is extremely hard to make the marriage work.

The Domestic violence Act Of India, under the garb of “women welfare and protection” is an attempt to create a society where men are robbed of all their rights. The law makes it very easy to escalate the domestic problems in daily life to such a level that it eventually leads to a breakdown in marriage. 

From time to time, differences arise in marriages. Two people who love each other and are in general happy with each other, sometimes behave in a hurtful way. This is true for both the men and the women. Sometimes, in the heat of the moment, people do mistakes and regret it later.

 This law makes it impossible for a woman to rectify her mistake. By making such a one sided extreme law, women will be tempted to use it against their husbands. The law lends itself to such easy misuse that women, on the strength of this law will try to teach a lesson to their husbands by filing frivolous and false cases. The husband will always feel the heat and feel threatened by his wife.

The fact is that if anyone feels cornered and threatened in a marriage, its the beginning of the end. The Domestic Violence Bill of India does exactly that. It gives sweeping powers to females and takes away all the rights of men. It imposes a lot of repsonsibiity on men, without giving them anything in return. For the women, it gives lots of rights without asking them to be responsible.

This is gender bias at its worst. It victimizes men and the law has been so poorly drafted that it will get blatantly misused. Many innocent men will suffer because of this law. 

 I have the following questions for the Govt of India

1. Why is there no protection for men from domestic violence ? If you say that not many cases occur, then do you have any statistics ? And regardless, if a man suffers domestic violence, shouldnt the law protect him as well ?

2. DO you think women are capable of violence ?  [ Just today, there was a news item that a woman killed her husband to get his property so that she can live with her lover]. Since it is well proven that women are capable of violence, shouldn’t the man be protected as well ?

3. So, according to the law, if a man insults a woman, he can be jailed for a year. So, it is domestic violence if a man insults a woman. How about if a woman insults a woman ? Is not necessary to protect a woman from another woman? Also, is it not domestic violence if a woman insults a man ?

4. According to the law, if a woman asks for money from a man and if the man is not able to provide it, then the woman can get the man jailed. However, the law prevents the man from asking for money from the woman. Isn’t this economic abuse of the men ? If a woman uses this law to blackmail and extort money from her husband, what protection does a husband have ?

5. My wife says that if I dont kick my parents out of the house, she will file a domestic violence case against me. What protection do I have under this law ?

6. My wife says that if I do not transfer all my property to her name, then I am economically abusing her and she will file a domestic violence case against me. What protection do I have under the law ?

7. My wife is having an affair and she threatens that if I try to prevent her from meeting her lover, then she says that she will use the domestic violence law against me, as according to the law, I am preventing her from meeting a person. I do not want a divorce because I have small children and I do not want them to suffer. Please tell me what should I do ?

8. My wife wants to go a 5 star hotel every day for dinner. When I object, she says that I am not providing her food and hence she will file the domestic violence case against me. I have tried to reason with her, but she is not willing to budge. Please tell me what should I do ?

9. This law gives tremendous rights to women and a lot of reponsibilities to man. What responsibilities or liabilities do women have under this law ?

10. DO you realize that there is generally some amount of friction in most marriages and by giving such absolute power to women, you are victimizing men. The results are going to be more divorces in which vindictive women will frame false cases on men, take away their property and put them in jail. Many many children will grow up in broken up families and will suffer. Ms. Minister, is this your idea of women and chilren welfare ?

11. Due to the poor drafting of this law, this law will be misused heavily and many many innocent men will go to jail and their lives will be destroyed. Do you have any message for them ?

12. Is there a provision that a woman who misuses the law will be punished as severely as a man is punished ?

13. You say that why will a woman file a case if she is happy in the marriage. In other words you are saying, that the man is at the mercy of the woman. If she is not happy for any reason, she can teach a lesson to her husband by filing a false case, reagardless of whether any violence occured or not. Where is the justice here ?

14. DO you think that men are second class citizens ? If not, then why have they not been given any rights in this law. Are you planning to release a similar law for men ? If you are not because you are the minister for women welfare, then is there a minister for men welfare ?

15. Do you know if any other country has a domestic violence law, in which only the woman can file a case on man, if she is abused, but the man can not file a case on woman if he is abused ?

16. Do you think this law will promote domestic harmony in the society ? DOnt you think that husband will be victimized by the wife who can use these threats to get her way ?

It takes a man as well as a woman to make a marriage work. Such nasty one sided laws will only promote marital discord and will lead to more divorces, where men will be victimized and destroyed.  But then, alas, the people who are trying to make this law are women who do not have a good family life. Most of them are either unmarried or divorced, so they do not realize what it takes to make a happy family. And they are tyring to destroy the happy families of others as well.

Eventually, the children suffer – both boys and girls. They will grow up in a fatherless world and there will be no MAN in their life to help them build the strength of their character and to teach them to take responsibility and take care of families.